Tag Archives: daily life

The Year of Mounting Frustrations

A few days ago, I was tagged by a friend on Tumblr to post six selfies I’d taken in the past year. It’s one of those memes that’s meant to boost self-esteem, and then you tag more people to do it, their self-esteem gets boosted, etc. Of course not everyone wants to post selfies, or even *takes* selfies, but it’s nice nonetheless.

For whatever reason, I couldn’t think of many pictures I had taken of myself this year, so I scrolled through my phone to find some. I got my phone in early February, so most of the year is on it. As I scrolled, I recalled the year and the good times I’d recorded — and also the bad, hiding conspicuously between the good times on my phone, made all the more prominent by the fact that they aren’t there. You know what I mean: I remembered my year, but my phone only remembers the good times. To me, they’re glaringly not there.

As I scrolled, it occurred to me why I found 2015 so hard: it was a year of mounting frustration. One of the first excursions of the new year ended up being a disaster. Between February and April, two local friends moved far enough away that I rarely see them now. A couple months later, I got a raise and hour increase at work, which only last about six months, until I was let go. Much of my summer was taken up by visitors or travel, and while I had good times, everything was crammed together: work, entertain visiting friend, work, bf’s friend visits, work, fly to other coast to visit home for a week, work. I didn’t get a real break at all. Work got increasingly annoying, because even though my hours increased, my boss got busier, so I was often working by myself and felt isolated — but I was making good money finally, and didn’t want to quit. So naturally  I was then let go when financial problems occurred. And now, finally, in the last three months of the year, I’m looking for new work that I still haven’t found.

Maybe that sounds exciting for some people, but this was too many ups and downs for me. And I didn’t even mention things like my boyfriend being sick/hurting his back, or times when I was sick, car problems, and financial problems of my own. I just felt like I couldn’t catch a break this year. Everything was in flux and it was terrible trying to keep myself from flying apart, being pulled in all sorts of directions, my insides always churning, making me feel terrible.

Next year, I’m taking it easy. I’m finding a job I can settle into, something that promises stability and perhaps even a desk to call my own. I don’t think I’ll go many places or take many trips that aren’t very short. I feel like I’ve lived too long without proper footholds and now I’m in desperate need of them. I’m too frustrated, not being able to stand on solid ground.


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Exciting & Free: Puppies & Bracelets

I’ve acquired two new, precious things recently, and, as luck may have it, they were both free. First, of course, is my puppy, Olive.

Olive is the first dog I’ve ever owned, and I’m so happy and lucky to have her. She’s 9 months old, a chihuahua mix and probably one of the smartest dogs I have ever met. She already knows “sit”, tells us when she has to go out, and otherwise uses her puppy pads – which she learned to use in a matter of days! If I was a better photographer, there would be tons of photos of her all over this blog, so just be glad I’m not.

Olive was free thanks to Maddie’s Fund, a wonderful organization that tries to get as many dogs and cats adopted as possible. We were just lucky to meet her so close to the upcoming adopt-a-thon, where she would have been had we not already taken her home. My fiancee and I plan to donate to the fund when we can.

The second thing is a beautiful cuff bracelet from the up-and-coming jewelry retailer, Morphik.  They recently had a contest in which you told them what sort of piece you’d like to own, and how the artist featured who created it impacted your life. My favorite artist of all time, Junko Mizuno, is featured on the site, and I wrote about how I’d love to wear her “Wedding” print on a blue cuff for my upcoming wedding as my “something blue”, as her art has kept me going through tough times, and that I’d like it to be there for happy ones, as well.

A mock-up from the site. As I mentioned, I’m not much of a photographer.

The bracelet arrived today, and I was stunned by the quality. The cuff is turquoise-dyed leather, extremely durable, but light. The piece on the inset is like a miniature fine art print; it’s detachable, and can be displayed in the small, beautiful box it comes in, complete with a hook on the back, so you can hang it on the wall if you want. This allows for display AND handy storage, especially if you acquire another print and want to start wearing that instead. The prints are held in place with a strong magnet and won’t fall out, though you can pop them out easily through a hole on the back of the cuff when you want to change them.

I’m so glad to have won this piece, because it is extremely beautiful and is going to be playing a big part in my future. I’ve had it posted on my Pinterest wedding board for a while now, so I’ve been hoping it would! I plan to order some more pieces eventually (you know, when I don’t have a wedding to pay for), and I’m especially excited for any new artwork that may find it’s way onto Morphik’s site.


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I Thought I Outgrew This!

Peter: I mean, don’t you ever get tired of being treated like a kid?
Edmund: We are kids!
Peter: Well I wasn’t always.

– Prince Caspian

900 hundred years old? I'm going to need to see some ID...

Fiancee and I are walking from our car to the grocery store to buy some popcorn when a man approaches us looking to sell something. Fiancee politely declines, but the man persists. Looking at me, he then says:

“Is this your little sister?”

I clutch fiancee’s arm and hiss “Hold me back” as we walking away, leaving the man behind.

I have never been a tall person, and I’ve always had a childlike face and body, at least until recently. Within the last two years, I’ve managed to fill out a bit, and I thought my face had changed too, after a stint in braces and forcing myself to buy big girl glasses – you know, sensible frames. (Except my last pair of said frames may have broken and though I went with a similar design, they might, just might, be red. But is that really so bad?)

Basically, I thought my time had come. I’m in my mid-20s. I’m engaged. I’ve finished college. I have a sort of professional job. I thought I had outgrown this shit!

Being short is annoying enough. Pants are never the right length. I can’t reach shit. I even wear a US women’s size 5 in shoes. But being asked if you’re your fiancee’s younger sister, when you are, you know, engaged to that person, AND a year and a half OLDER than them? That’s just insulting.

I tried for a long time to “dress the part,” but let’s face it; I’m not going to wear business casual to buy popcorn at Safeway. I can’t deny my love for cute things either, and my purple, glittery Hello Kitty purse goes everywhere with me. And, to a point, being short is a part of my identity. It’s not like I can change it anyway, so I might as well embrace it.

But this “little sister” thing is driving me up a wall. Tons of people have told me I’ll appreciate looking young when I’m older, but, on one hand, I am obviously not there yet. On another, fuck you and your youth-obsessed cultural brainwashing. I mean. No. That’s what I mean.

I definitely have an adult life. I work (eventually even full time, hopefully); I pay bills; I live with the man I’m engaged to, 3000+ miles from my parents; my life is dull and uneventful, and I’m okay with that. I am definitely an adult; I just wish I could be treated like one without having to show ID.

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Out Like a Lamb

Winter is ending, and many of us are trading in snow for rain. Here, we’re not so much trading in as just getting lots and lots of rain, but that hasn’t stopped me from snapping some pictures with my phone.







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The Cruelest Month (Might be November?)

November is a hard month. It’s sandwiched between two big holidays that a lot of people celebrate, and if you live outside the US, it’s kind of just a waiting period between the two. And for those of us who do NaNoWriMo, it’s even more hectic. Even though I dropped NaNo this year (it’s bad when your own characters bore you), I haven’t had a lot of time for blogging, reading, etc. So here are a few cell phone photos I’ve taken in between my busy schedule.

You Just Lost It



Found on Solano Avenue, in Berkeley.

Blue Beelte

If you can’t tell, the car is blue. Ha! Get it?


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Alternative Press Expo, Etc.

Getting used to doing work again isn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but I think I’m starting to feel overwhelmed! I keep leaving things by accident, like my keys in the front door lock, or drinks out after I’ve poured them. I still need to do a little more readjusting to keep myself focused!

I want to do a post on the Alternative Press Expo, but my boyfriend and I were only there for a couple hours, and we spent most of the time in line for Kate Beaton. We bought her new book Hark! A Vagrant and she signed it and doodled a Nancy Drew in it! She seemed so tired, though, and I felt bad. I hope she was able to rest, because I know she’s still touring! I wanted to buy her a coffee, but I thought that might be weird, haha. ^^;;;

I also met Kevin Wada (with the fabulous X-Men prints), bought Mystique and Janelle Monae postcards and told him how I’d heard about him. Apparently, he had no idea people were passing his art around on Tumblr, though people kept telling him they saw his prints online. Crazy! He was really cool. Also, I bought a matching postcard from a friend of his, Max Wittert, of Jubilee also in a fashion model pose. Jubilee is my favorite X-Men character, and I can’t wait to get a bulletin board so I can display them all!

Besides that, my boyfriend and I wandered around looking at the different artists’ work, I bought him a really cool tie from Binary Winter, and I got some back issues from Slave Labor Graphics. (The Johnen Vazquez collection I started when I was 15 is almost complete, ohoho!) The only thing I regret is not being able to meet Daniel Clowes, but that’s probably okay, considering most of my comics are still in my parent’s house on the other side of the country. He can sign my heavily read copy of Ghost World some other time.

Well, I guess that was a post on APE, sans pictures. I’ll try and show off some of the stuff we got another time.

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Things I Love Thursday #4: Job Getting Edition

➡ That’s right! I have a job! Hooray for employment! Or anyway, partial employment. I have one part time job, and might be able to snag myself another to supplement the first one. I should find out soon. I just need to start making appointments for getting background stuff done for the second job, and I’m sure things will get figured out. Frankly, I’m just glad things are finally coming together. That two month job search was really grueling. I know I should definitely feel lucky to have any kind of employment in this economy, too. Remind me to write some thank you card to numerous deities.

Alternative Press Expo is this weekend in San Francisco and I am going to be there on Saturday! The one and only Kate Beaton will be there too, and I am really excited to meet her and get her to sign, like, everything I own, regardless of whether it was created by her or not. I was warned I should probably get there early and bring something to read, because the line will be waaaay long. And I bet it will be! She deserves tons of awesome fans.

Also, the above print of Emma Frost/The White Queen, by Kevin Wada, will be available at APE too, along with three other X-Men themed prints. I’m trying to decide which one to get, and it is very, very hard. I hope they don’t sell out before I decide!

The Pinkie Moon shirt is now available in women’s sizes! I am also loving this one. Why must these shirts be so expensive? ;~;

➡ All of my shows are returning! Summer hiatuses suck, because the only show I watch during the summer (besides anime) is Warehouse 13, and Hulu decided to stop uploading the episodes after the first two until just lately. So I was pretty bored this summer, as far as TV shows go. This season, I’m continuing with Castle, Community, Fringe and Parks and Recreation. I also picked up Pan Am, because out of all the 60s set/inspired shows, it wasn’t boring (Charlie’s Angels) and it doesn’t (or anyway, hasn’t so far) try to make sexist bullshit look glamorous (The Playboy Club). I actually refuse to bother with the latter, because I don’t need that in my life. Oh well~

➡ I bought a planner today! I haven’t had one in so long, and I’ve been wanting one for a while, despite not having anything to put in it. But now that I have employment pending, I’m going to have to start keep track of things. I had to settle for an academic calendar (July 2011 to June 2012), because it’s the end of the year, but that’s okay. I am going to make this planner gorgeous. I’ll be using organizers @ LJ for inspiration!

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