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The Year of Mounting Frustrations

A few days ago, I was tagged by a friend on Tumblr to post six selfies I’d taken in the past year. It’s one of those memes that’s meant to boost self-esteem, and then you tag more people to do it, their self-esteem gets boosted, etc. Of course not everyone wants to post selfies, or even *takes* selfies, but it’s nice nonetheless.

For whatever reason, I couldn’t think of many pictures I had taken of myself this year, so I scrolled through my phone to find some. I got my phone in early February, so most of the year is on it. As I scrolled, I recalled the year and the good times I’d recorded — and also the bad, hiding conspicuously between the good times on my phone, made all the more prominent by the fact that they aren’t there. You know what I mean: I remembered my year, but my phone only remembers the good times. To me, they’re glaringly not there.

As I scrolled, it occurred to me why I found 2015 so hard: it was a year of mounting frustration. One of the first excursions of the new year ended up being a disaster. Between February and April, two local friends moved far enough away that I rarely see them now. A couple months later, I got a raise and hour increase at work, which only last about six months, until I was let go. Much of my summer was taken up by visitors or travel, and while I had good times, everything was crammed together: work, entertain visiting friend, work, bf’s friend visits, work, fly to other coast to visit home for a week, work. I didn’t get a real break at all. Work got increasingly annoying, because even though my hours increased, my boss got busier, so I was often working by myself and felt isolated — but I was making good money finally, and didn’t want to quit. So naturally  I was then let go when financial problems occurred. And now, finally, in the last three months of the year, I’m looking for new work that I still haven’t found.

Maybe that sounds exciting for some people, but this was too many ups and downs for me. And I didn’t even mention things like my boyfriend being sick/hurting his back, or times when I was sick, car problems, and financial problems of my own. I just felt like I couldn’t catch a break this year. Everything was in flux and it was terrible trying to keep myself from flying apart, being pulled in all sorts of directions, my insides always churning, making me feel terrible.

Next year, I’m taking it easy. I’m finding a job I can settle into, something that promises stability and perhaps even a desk to call my own. I don’t think I’ll go many places or take many trips that aren’t very short. I feel like I’ve lived too long without proper footholds and now I’m in desperate need of them. I’m too frustrated, not being able to stand on solid ground.

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2015: Year End Job Hunt

I’ve updated this blog approximately four times this year. Once to ring it in. Once for a blog carnival. Once, mid-year, to say “hey, maybe I should update this again?” And now finally, again, to say goodbye to 2015.

There are still two weeks left in the year, but by most people’s standards, it’s over. End of the year lists are out. Christmas is in less than ten days. Holiday gift exchange deadlines are coming up. (My first one is on Friday.) The year is effectively over.

This year I made more money than I ever have at a single job and then was let go due to financial strain. Strain I can’t help but feel I may have caused. Now, with 15 days left in the year, I’m still job hunting. I hope I don’t have to ring in the new year jobless, but it seems possible. I also just don’t want the stress of worrying about it over the holidays, as the holidays already cause undue stress, but I guess that’s just what’s in the cards this time around.

 

There are two things I’ve learned about being unemployed, and they are:

  1. You get very bored. There is very little to do when you don’t have a job and when you’re not applying for them. Even with TV shows to watch, books to read, apartments to clean, you run out of things to do.
  2. You get to see a lot more of your area. In the last two weeks, I’ve been to San Francisco more times than I have all year. I visited a city 45 minutes away and took four different freeways to get there. I passed this place and didn’t go in, but I might now that I know it’s there.

In 2016, I hope to have a job. That’s really all I’m shooting for this year. It’s not a New Year’s Resolution – I just need it to survive. Maybe my NYR should be updating this blog again, but eh. We’ll see. If I could see into the future, I probably wouldn’t even be writing this, huh? :P

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Oh geez

Maybe I should update this again?

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To 2015

Happy 2015 by kinkei on DeviantArt

A new year has dawned, and I rang it in playing iPad games while sitting in bed next to my boyfriend. He was watching Let’s Play videos on his tablet.

Sounds good to me.

Happy 2015, everyone.

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One Fine Mess

vintage-get-well-illustration

a vintage “get well soon” card illustration

Well, 2014 has been quite a mess, health-wise. I’ve battled lice, chronic insomnia, two ridiculous colds, no less then four kinds of rashes, AND – worst of all – my boyfriend broke both of his elbows in a motorbike accident.

He’s recovering just fine, but I’m still itchy.

The lesson here is: never take the insurance plan with the high deductible. It’ll get you every time.

That’s is; that’s the post.

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Heads Up: URL Change

tl;dr – Moving to https://robotxing.wordpress.com – sort of!

After a lot of mulling, I have made the decision to change the URL of this blog, since I’m not as into MLP:FiM as I used to be. I decided I no longer wanted this blog associated with a fandom-specific name. So, right after I publish this post and it goes out to the various RSS readers, etc., I will be changing the URL to https://robotxing.wordpress.com. I’m not actually moving blogs, just changing the address so previous links will not work. If you have the site bookmarked, I would suggest changing it, and I will change it wherever I can. I don’t think this will effect anyone who’s following me via WordPress’ dashboard, but don’t quote me on that.

Okay, BRB!

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New Year Resolutions, 2014 Edition

Image

1. Get another job or two/save more money – The usual.

2. Update this blog more – Well, yeah.

3. See what will replace my creepiest search results this year – This will be a fun one. Previous years have included:

2012: “Haruki Murakami”/”1Q84” and all iterations of “sex”, including: “freshly made vagina”, “Japanese underage lesbian novel Haruki Murakami”, and many questions about what Aomame’s stretches look like.

2013: Many versions of “wonder woman spanked” and “spanking comic”; as well as “aomamae stretching”, which means 1Q84 is still pretty popular among literary perverts; and whoever was searching “group r*pe crosswalk tube videos site” please, PLEASE never come back.

Let the guessing games begin!!

I also finished my GoodReads challenge of reading 30 books this year, though as I used to be able to read about 50 a year, I feel like I should really step up my game in 2014. You can see the books I completed here, 10 of which were young adult books! I still have plenty more to get through sitting around my house, but I feel like 2014 may be the year of the mystery novel…

Many happy returns, everyone.

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