Category Archives: the science of appearances

June ABCs: G, H & I

Trying to do daily updates is so the first week of June.

G is for Graffiti Art

Untitled

I’m much too much of a chicken to actually try my hand at graffiti art, but I do love looking at it and taking pictures of it. The title of this blog is even based on some street art I started noticing while living and going to school in Philadelphia. You can read all about them here.

H is for Hair

IMG_1620

My hair and I have a complicated relationship I think most people, and especially women, can relate to. As far back as I can remember, I kept my hair in a chin-length bob with straight-across-the-forehead bangs. Though the length varied depending on my age, by high school I was so uncaring, I kept the short bob all the way through graduation. When my grandmother took me to her hairdresser and I found the length she gave me too short for even my taste, I let it grow out for about three or four years. It got to boob-length before I re-bobbed it again, and unsatisfied, I came up with a plan.

After a lot of planning and money-saving, I visited my campus’ extremely expensive hairdresser, who was a great guy and had so much fun chopping my hair into a pixie cut and dying it pink, he didn’t mind that it took a full three hours. I don’t think he got to experiment like that very often. I spent another couple years after that keeping it short and dying it black when the pink became too difficult to maintain.

After college, I let my hair grow again, convinced it was the right thing to do for the wedding I’ll eventually be having. I thought having plenty of hair to work with would be ideal when the big day came. But as we’ve continued pushing it back due to financial constraints and laziness, I found the surplus of hair annoying. Just like any time my hair was long enough to get in my face, I’d pull it back into a ponytail or bun to keep it from tangling and getting in the way. I never did anything with it, and it had extra waves and weird crimps from all the elastic bands I rarely took out.

The result of my frustration is the above picture: hair short and natural, no color or highlights. I might again turn it to straw experimenting with color in the future, but for right now it’s staying that short, wedding photos be damned.

I is for Irritants

Chemical Irritants

Chemical Irritants

Irritants are a big problem to me. I have sensitive skin, and I mean REALLY sensitive. I can’t use generic or even “normal” soap, otherwise my skin dries out almost instantly. I can’t wear certain fabrics because my skin reacts badly to them. Most shampoo is a nightmare on my hair and scalp, and gently scratching my skin leaves red marks that last much too long. I don’t use powder makeup, because it if gets in my eyes or up my nose,  there goes all of the day’s grooming into a red, puffy mess. Towels at hotels have given me painful rashes. I’m allergic to half of the outdoors, some of the indoors, and my own dog. If I could live in a bubble, I would.

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WeLoveFine and I are Getting Married.

…and you’re all invited to the wedding.

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Mighty Fine, stop making me want to give you all my money

I mean really, though. Are they making tshirts just for me now? Because I think they might be.

That doesn’t explain why it’s only available in men’s, though. I love a nice, thick men’s shirt every once in a while, but I think I’d want to wear this one for more than just sleeping and being lazy. Come on, guys.

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The Final Word on the Bridesmaid Dress

From Nordstrom in “Purple Haze.” It will probably be a little long, but I’m kind of over the dress shopping at this point. Turns out you should probably get a dress a little earlier than a week before the wedding if you want the one in the style you really like. Oh well. I’ll keep that in mind for any future bridesmaid endeavors. I should just feel happy I was allowed to pick the dress myself, huh?

The wedding is next Saturday, and I’ve found myself looking at other people’s wedding photos on Facebook and photography sites. I’m not big on weddings myself, but I like the emphasis on taking beautiful pictures. There’s someone really amazing about really good wedding/engagement pictures that makes me almost sad I will probably miss out of them. Keyword there is “almost.” I don’t think I could deal with the hassle. I’d rather see really beautiful pictures of my beautiful friends than have a million pictures of myself in a white dress. Honestly, I think I would find it really, really creepy to have photos like that.

And if I was having a wedding? I would definitely wear red.

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I’ve Never Watched Sex in the City, but I Know Exactly How to Fake Like I Have

I’m going to be a bridesmaid in my boyfriend’s sister’s wedding this August, and though I know I should be grateful that it’s going to be a small event and that I get to pick my own dress, the actual search for the appropriate attire is actually really fucking frustrating.

(Yeah, I’m going to use bad words and run-on sentences on this blog sometimes. You’ll get used it.)

Here are a few important details about the wedding:

  • It’s being held on a beach in the middle of August.
  • It’s a small, private affair. To give an example, my boyfriend is officiating.
  • The color scheme is lavender and white.

Here are a few details about me, in regards to the previous details:

  • I’m bad with heat and I can’t swim.
  • I hate wearing white.
  • I’m short as all get out.
  • I just went through what a co-worker calls “second puberty,” a problem the both of us had at the end of our early twenties when our bodies decided to try and convince us to get pregnant by widening our hips and giving us more boob fat. Due to this annoying bodily reshaping, half my clothing doesn’t fit anymore and I’m spending way too much on finding ones that do.

My initial idea was to wear a white maxi dress with white flip flops and possibly dye my hair lavender, because its been stranger colors and I’m sure I won’t be employed at the time (which is part of longer story I might get to at a later time). Sadly, with my second puberty did not come a growth spurt, so at 4 foot 11 and 3/4 inches, maxi dresses are just too long for me, and I don’t look forward to trailing sand everywhere I go after the ceremony. Hair dying is on hold, as the color would be too faded if I bothered dying it now, but the flip flops are still doable so long as Old Navy doesn’t go out of business.

I’m also limited by money, considering all the other clothes shopping I’ve been doing, as well as a plethora of other monetary troubles that just won’t stop: I haven’t been paid yet this summer, despite being 5 weeks into my job, because of HR problems; having just attended a comic book convention to which I mistakenly took my little brother as a graduation present, where he spent most of his time guilting me into buying him things; and of course, a certain sequel to a 10+ year old cult game and holy shit when did video games get so expensive? So, in sum, I’m on a budget.

I’ve already exhausted both H&Ms in my city, and I don’t think I can trust Forever21 clothing to not fall apart on me. I tried ModCloth, but as I’ve mostly avoided it due to their abundance of pretties and my lack of money, I have only just learned how large the dresses run and how not-well they would fit. Wet Seal yielded similar results, as a dress I had my eye on managed to be too big for me, even in a size small. And finally, it’s summer and every single dress is suddenly full of eyelet patterns. I fucking hate eyelet patterns.

But then I think about why I’m even bent of wearing white. The color scheme is white and lavender, so why don’t I just wear lavender?

Part of that problem is my inability to identify lavender. Where I see lavender, the retailer sees “dusty purple” or “lilac.” Is there a difference? What if it doesn’t match the other lavender? But wouldn’t wearing white upstage the bride, or something asinine like that? How the hell should I know?

But, enough whining. I just wanted to get my thoughts out. Here are some horribly cheap dresses from horribly cheap places that I probably won’t even end up buying anyway.

Target

Both of these are automatically disqualified due to my lack of knowledge about lavender, the fact that they are essentially the same dress plus or minus a rose, and because it is really creepy how Target cuts off the top halves of all their models’ heads.


I like this because it does look like a dress you would wear on a beach. The model’s even wearing it with sandals! But the lack of waist makes me worry I would, you know, look as short as I am. Usually I can fool people, but not in this.

Alloy


I feel rather drawn to this one, but probably because I believe that line on the bottom is an underskirt. The main problem with wearing white, other than the suddenly acquired ability to spill things all over yourself, is that it is so. Goddamn. See-through. And that’s not exactly appropriate for a wedding, especially one given by your eventual in-laws.

But that’s all I’ve been able to scrounge up. I’m graduating from college in, oh, a week and a day, so perhaps I can get a rich relative to help me out via congratulatory cards, but I somehow don’t see that happening. Whatever I do, I’m just really glad I will probably only have to wear this dress once just like if I was getting married!

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